One Year

Dear Dad,

It was one year ago today that we were last together.  We spent a wonderful afternoon together with the kids.  Little did we know that it would be our last.  We talked about so many things. Our conversations brought completion to so many aspects of our life together.  Little did I know.  You spoke of your love for our savior, and what his sacrifice created for you and I.  We had fun with the kids, sharing your love for the B-17 bomber, creating memories... precious memories.  We had a late lunch/snack with the kids at your favorite restaurant, and theirs. I am so thankful that I was prompted to see what it was you ordered, I wanted to remember what my dad ate at McDonalds, silly then, thankful now.  A Quarter Pounder, super size french fries and a vanilla shake.  Once again you talked about eating at McDonalds as a young man.  For $1.00 you would order 2 cheeseburgers, french fries, and a coke-and leave with change, 15 cents.  I acted as though I had never heard the story  before.  I had. Many times. Yesterday I went to McDonalds with the boys. I ordered the same meal in memory of you.  I thanked God for you and for the memory of that last meal.  I will do the same every year until I see you again.  I miss you.  It's not like you were a major part of my every day life.  You lived your life and I lived mine.  I miss picking the phone up and calling you just to talk, share a memory, or get your opinion on something.  I miss those phone calls.  One phone call I will never forget is when I called you out of the blue to thank you for making sure I knew Jesus.  I had told you that you may have messed up on some things, maybe a lot of things, but you had got the most important thing right.  The most important thing a parent can do is make sure their child knows Jesus as Lord and Savior, and you had.  You got the most important thing right.  I'm glad I was able to thank you for that.  There's been so many things that have happened this past year that I have wanted to share with you.  So many times I have thought, "Dad's not going to believe this. What would Dad do?  I wonder if he remembers?".    A year brings a lot of changes.  I lot can be learned in a year.  God was merciful to you and us a year ago.  The fullness of his mercy both you and I will never fully comprehend. I thank God for his mercy, and I thank God for you.  I thank God that I was chosen to be your daughter, your one and only child.  I am honored to carry on and hold your memory close to my heart. Until we meet again in Christ's presence I remain proud to be called.....

Your loving daughter,

Kathryn Mae  

Park Day...The Best Day of the Week!

Hands down, Thursday is the best day of the week.  Normally we go to Community Bible Study on Thursday mornings.  This Thursday we had SAT9 testing at our homeschool.  Thursday afternoons we meet with a support group at the park.  We are there from 2:00 until sometimes as late as 6:00pm.  Park day is so important for our family that I would rather miss doing "school" than miss going to the park.  My kids have the best time playing with their friends, and I have a great time having fellowship with other moms.  This time is essential for our homeschooling.  I get a break, and so do the kiddos.  Yep, Thursdays are the best!!  

Hang in there...It gets better. Promise.

This past Tuesday evening was the monthly teachers meeting for the homeschool ISP I am a member of.  I did not want to go.  I hate being out past 7:30 now a days.  I would much rather be at home in my jammies chillin with the homeboys (The kiddos and my hubby ;-) But the Lord kept encouraging me to go, so go I did.  I am glad I did.  The meeting began with a planning session for next year.  We were lead by one of our school administrators, a veteran homeschooling mom of two.  She shared some of her wisdom from her homeschooling years and then some of the others moms shared their two bits.  Afterwards we broke up into our"small" groups to turn in our paperwork and such.  Approx. half of the group I am in this year consists of new to homeschooling moms, and around 90% of them are not sure they want to homeschool next year.  My heart breaks for them.  It breaks because I remember the hell of my first year, the turmoil of my second year, the getting the hang of it third year, and the joy of my fourth year.  The stark reality of homeschooling can be overwhelming that first year, especially if you are pulling your kids out of a traditional school setting.  Homeschooling is not glamourous.  There are no pedicures while the kiddos are at school.  House cleaning gets done in short burst throughout the day...if at all.  Hobbies?  Hobbies happen after the lesson plans get written, papers get graded, read alouds get read, laundry gets done, and then only if I am able to stay awake.  I no longer get to spend an hour picking out my clothes for the day, doing my hair and makeup, and then picking out just the right accessories.  Most days happen in a blur, while I may be clean and groomed I don't fit the world's image.  But I am blessed.  I am like Mary, Martha's sister who sat listening at Christ's feet while Mary was all about cleaning the house for guests.  Christ said to Martha of Mary, "She has choosen the better part."  So I have, and so I hope these other moms will too.  The blessings are there and my fear/sadness is that these moms will never get to see that because they are giving up too soon.  So I will pray.